​​How the worst night of my life became a TED X Talk
 
By Nadia Ramoutar, Phd
 
The Universe shifted for me yesterday as I took to the stage in Tralee, Kerry to give my TED X TALK “The Art of Being an Artform: The Journey from Trauma to Transformation.  The Universe has done that before in a big leap.  I was on a path and an outside force knocked me off course slightly. Fortunately, yesterday it knocked me in a good way.  I am still “buzzing” as my new friend and fellow TED X talker Jennifer Maher would say.  In the light of day, I wanted to harness this moment and write to you about how the worst night in my life became a TED X talk.


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It is mystical how art can make use of tragedy. It is one of the few things that can use despair as fuel.  I have always wanted to give a TED Talk since I first knew they existed. The emergence of the TED X talks made my dream a possibility.  Earlier this year, after the bizarre and challenging experience of years of COVID 19 lockdown in Ireland I learned there was going to be a new TED X event about four hours away from me in a place I love, Tralee, Kerry.
 
I made a pact with a childhood friend, Ken Gibson that we would apply.  It was a risk to take as he would most likely get in and what if I didn’t? I swallowed my ego and I sent in a video.  I knew one of the curators James but the other one Bryan didn’t know me from a hole in the ground as we say in Ireland.
 
After a bit of back and forth, I was in.  Ken was selected before me and I had tiny wobble as I thought I was not. Some precious friends had applied and were not selected this time, so there was a slight discomfort there. Coming from a large chaotic family I often struggle when good things happen to me but not to all. I worked through that with the ones close to me and I was on my way.
 
There was work to be done. How does an idea become a TED Talk?  A lot like a baby growing in a womb.  Each week a new part gets to be born. It’s in there and it’s looking like a tadpole and nothing like it will be on the day it arrives fully formed.  I have been watching TED talks since the 1990s.  I have seen thousands of them. I knew the diversity of the topics within the challenge of very specific rules.
 
I get it in my head every now and then that I want to do something really hard. I have decided to throw myself into something that most people who never entertain like writing a book, doing a triathlon, directing a film or getting a Ph d. It’s like I can’t do something in an ordinary way. It doesn’t interest me. I want it to be a challenge. I want to have to solve something that I think I can’t. There is something odd in me that needs to know there is more to me.  Perhaps it is my dyslexic brain looking for new patterns in the ordinary, I don’t really know.
 
As Bryan and James heard my early speeches which were long and lofty, they quickly let me know I was going to have to go to the heart of the story. I could not just casually throw in there that I almost died being stalked and attacked by a man when I was a 19 year old college story. This was the talk. I had to tell the audience who I was – a biracial women born into a very Pale, white Dublin, Ireland – who grew up and wanted to be a news anchor. But, that plan came to a brutal halt one Monday night at the University of Florida.
 
So, what was I going to do?
 
I did the hard thing again, I researched my own attack. I found the police records. The case number. The attackers photo in prison. I went back to that Monday night when I was 19 years old and relieved the horrors of how I was almost raped and killed.
 
I cried. I could only work on it during the day. Memories I had buried long long ago, came back to me and haunted me again.  But, I knew that to move through this I had to do this work. I had therapy in the past but there was something new here. I wanted to know. I wanted to remember what I struggled so hard to bury for so long.
 
The weekly practices forced me to tell the story. James and Bryan couldn’t have been kinder or gentler in coaching me through this. They even cried with me. When I took the talk to the rest of the group they helped me greatly to let go some of my intellectual ways of hiding.
 
One day it hit me, I don’t want to hide anymore.
 
The day was getting closer. What was I going to where?  There is a lot of talk about being comfortable and not wearing anything too distracting. Fair enough. But I knew I was talking about “the Art of being an Artform” – I needed to become an artform. So I went to Claire Garvey, Dublin designer and she immediately offered to help me.  I recruited my best friend since Childhood, Arlene to come with me. She is the most honest person I know. She would not let me look outrageous or bad. We had a joyful experience and emerged with an artform of a dress. Claire is a quiet and meek genius. My favourite kind.
 
The day was looming. I was practicing. Recording myself. Crying every time I said it out loud, but I just kept going. I didn’t let it stop me nor did I try to stop it. I was making peace with my trauma. Something I didn’t realise I still needed. (Please note, I don’t think this is something people should do unless they feel strong enough or have professional support.)
 
With the dress sorted, I started to practice in front of other people. I was aware that my story was almost always met with an emotional response. It also got a very compassionate and understanding response.  With each time I gave it, I became clearer that it was a story I had to tell.
 
I didn’t realise that after three decades the trauma I experienced as a 19 year old woman had such a domino effect in my life. I also didn’t realise that I had effectively saved my own life by taking steps to reconnect with myself as an artform.
 
Are we aware fully of our story and how it impacts us?
 
I am seeing myself in a new way. I hope that when you see my talk you two will find the courage and the insight to face what may hold you back.
 
I am also hopeful that we can start to really witness the artform in everyone we meet. We also know to give people space as we never know what story they hold in their hearts.
 
What an incredible experience to give a TED x talk. It was something I always wanted to do and doing it took me beyond who I have been before. I showed up in that moment totally present to the audience and to myself. I don’t know that I have ever been capable of this before to this level. I elevated beyond my former self and was birthed into someone new.  The actual day exceeded my greatest expectations. I was so prepared and so pleased to wear the Claire Garvey dress. It gave me such a joyful uplift as I spoke about being an artform.  I am deeply grateful to such a warm and responsive audience who lifted my abilities to a new level. I left the stage a better woman then when I walked on. I gave it all I had to give and it gave me so much back in return.
 
I feel so grateful to the team who made TED x Tralee possible, and to the audience who lifted me up beyond belief and I will be forever grateful for the chance to be in the spotlight on the Red Dot Carpet presenting my whole self as only I could.

​There is room in me to grow.
 
I don’t like to opening admit this because it is not something I like to acknowledge. I would like to believe that my dance card is full. I have no room. I can’t do anything new or interesting. I am full with mediocrity. Can’t take another bite of life.
 
But, we know this is a lie.
 
I am an extremely talented liar. I can lie to myself without even flinching. I have gotten so good at this I do not even know what the truth is anymore. How sad.  I may portray myself as a saint of integrity and honour. But again, another lie.  I told you I was good.
 
So, how does one access this sacred space of “yet to be me”?
 
I am not sure. Now, that is true.  We are all so busy with being busy we can’t figure out how to trick ourselves into opening up.
 
It’s like we just keep putting rubbish in our bin of life until it spills onto the floor. We secretly worry or even get visibly anxious. But, we could simply just sort the recycling here and take the rest to curb. Busyness is as addictive as sugar or crack. We are addicted to being important and thereby too busy to focus on self-worth. 
 
There is a divine flame in me that no human can extinguish. But there are times when it is hidden so far down below the drudgery of life, that I don’t know how it all doesn’t burn to the ground.
 
I like to think I am generous but the truth is I am very stingy with myself. In fact, I am downright mean much of the time. I spend hours building up people. Complimenting strangers even but not a kind word muttered to myself. How is this fair? It is not. It is again a lie I tell myself.  “You can’t do that.” “You Don’t have time.” “You used to look better.”
 
It goes on and on and why I don’t take that rubbish to the curb, I don’t know.
 
The hard way has been a life path. I am guilty of being unable to help myself the beauty and meaning I may bring to a world too demanding to care.
 
There are days when I feel so inspired and I somehow see the light in bands of gold and bronze with sprinklings of pink, like a sunrise of my potential. I awaken to myself. 
 
These are one of those days. I give great gratitude to God for reaching me beyond the noise I put between us.
 
On days like today I not only feel that all my suffering has carved me like a statue into something more than I was.  I feel fully and I am able to have a deep appreciation for the simply joy of small things. Peeling a tangerine. Lighting a candle. Walking the dog. Writing a sentence.
 
Falling deeply in love with life again, I chose me. I don’t just tolerate her, I embrace her. All the wounds of the past betrayals or disappointments melt away into nothingness setting me free to roam in to becoming.
 
I invite you to silence the noisy inner voices chattering on like a broken record about nonsense.  I ask you to to come home to your real self and open your arms, letting her rest her weary head on your shoulder.
 
Hold her close. Adore her. Stroke her hair. Whisper kind words of comforts.
 
Let that be the only you that you know anymore.   Let the divine flame not only flicker but be fanned by your inner love and self-awareness. 
 
No one gives us this, but if we let them, they will keep us from it. And that’s no lie.
 
 

 
​Imagine this if you can.  You are seated around a table with a most glorious spread in front of you. It's so elegant and lovely you don't really want to touch anything.  At the table, there are seated other versions of your former self. You as a child, you as a teenager, you as a 20 year old, you before Covid 19 ...you get the picture.  Then there is you now and next to you a seat that is empty for who you are becoming.  She's not here yet.  She won't be showing up for awhile.  She is in transit. 
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When I am most honest (which I hope is always) I have to admit that the past few years have really thrown me off. Not in one way but in many ways. I no longer really know exactly who I am or what I like or even what I don't like. What I do know is that the world has changed and also it has not changed. The great hope I had the COVID 19 would somehow make us all better people is starting to feel like a ruse.  I was naive in my hopes for the world but that is not unusual. 

At this table with the many versions of you, what would you talk about? What would you say?  How would you address each other? With fondness?  I hope so.  It would be ideal if you could greet your former selves with love and appreciation.  We haven't had it easy, have we?  We could argue that many other people have had it a lot worse. But, that is not the point.  The point of this is - how are you doing?  Really? Not that best case scenario you put on for the world, but the real you. The one making room for the new self to arrive. 

I wonder if we can really make room for her?  Can we see that she won't come until we make a space for her to come in.  Is it possible for us to see that we need to invite who we are becoming to the banquet of our life.  Let's give this experiment a try.  Who will she be? How will she look and feel about the world?  What does she care about most?

As we live our lives, how would it be to engage our imagination instead of our worry?  How can we give our very best to ourselves now in this moment?   Appreciating our selves at every stage may be a good starting point. Realising that the rest of our story is still yet unwritten may be another important point.  Whatever you are seeking is seeking you. This is what the ancient poets taught us.  Can we believe it?  Now may be the time to truly embrace this. 
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photo credit: Layla Neal

After a rather challenging childhood and early adulthood, I was looking for ways to feel better than were not going to kill me or bankrupt me. I had tried to the usual suspects like drinking and overspending, I was ready for something more meaningful.  It was like I was a spiritual anorexic in need of a quick fix at the salad bar of life. Starving but unwilling to eat the calories.  I was a perfect candidate for the new age Positive Thinking movement of the moment. I was primed to read many self help books looking for a way out of my perpetual pain from PTSD from being a woman in a Western world that just didn't value me.  I was so sensitive and so fragile but I didn't know how to be stronger or more compassionate to myself. 

Now, that I know more I can see how I oversimplified life and wanted things to be nicer and easier to control.  I wanted sunshine and flowers, but not rain. I didn't understand that flowers don't bloom without the occasional storm.  I didn't understand how beautiful yet strong a flower could be. Positivity was a way for me to hide and avoid the reality of what was right in front of me.   Let me clarify, we know scientifically that being a positive person and using positive words and thoughts is helpful. It is true. We also know that being negative and complaining is a drain on our energy and a bad way to move forward.  I am a fan of kindness and like the Dali Lama think of it as my religion. I just want to be clear, being positive all the time in a world with so much wrong is an impossible facade to keep showing to the world.
 
We are in a constant assault from social media. We don't need to plaster our limitations or anger in social media like photos of our breakfast, but we do need to embrace realism as spiritual practice.  Being truly aware of how we feel and what life is doing to us makes us stronger and gives us an opportunity to embrace the beauty of life even when we don't like what is happening. Being a realist does not mean we stop affirming what we want, visualizing a better future or using compassionate thoughts and words. 

Being spiritual requires us to really look at what is happening within us and around it. Bad things happen when good people ignore the real signs in their lives. We can't just use prayer like a vending machine. We pray and what we want drops down. There is so much more to get from life and from love. Enlightened action comes from realism when we absorb what has to be done.  We have preferences, which is a very natural response to life, I like this and I don't like that. What is more important is that we are detached from the idea of getting what we want all of the time.  We are also in need of detaching ourselves from what we do want.  To be more direct, we have to grow up and adult in a way we contribute to the world and address the problems that plague us personally and socially. Our planet is drowning in short term thinking and self indulgence. We need new ideas and fresh solutions. We need you.

It is exhausting to pretend all the time.  One of the most beautiful parts of us is our authenticity. It is also the hardest thing to really embrace. In order to do so we have just swallow our vulnerability. We have to find other ways to move forward that to hope nothing bad ever happens to us again. We need to make tough choices and we have to take risks to really grow.  Immaturity and self consumption is a short cut to mess our world is now in. We have to awaken to what is and decide what we can do next.

As we face challenges we have to know that loss in life is rarely personal. It is so much more complicated than that. Checking our egos so we don't mistake loss for a punishment is the only way ahead.  Our joy can't come from other people's pleasure. It is not sustainable. We have to do the spiritual work to get the rewards. We can't make deals with the universe to always win especially at anyone else's expense. Especially our own.

Life is mysterious. Time is fleeting. We have a lot less fun than we hoped. We need to find ways to be present and to mindfully embrace our every step. We need to be brave and bold in the face of the unfair. We need to grieve in the face of loss and pay homage to the love we thought we would always have conveniently next to us. There is no controlling outcomes and we can't use God as a hostage.   We have to show up and get busy being better than we were yesterday or the day before. 

Love is without a doubt the greatest reward of being alive. To be compassionate and be able to love life when we don't like the script and don't appreciate the plot twist is to attain self actualization. To be be fully present and aware is the greatest skill we can build. In the world of unpredictable pain, we need to make best friends with the unknown. Set her a place at the table. Let her come to your door and open it wide. 
We are sitting ducks waiting to be shot out of the pond if we don't listen to misery.  We need to do so much in the world for ourselves, our family, our community and our world. We have to step beyond all this and we have the power within us to embrace the wonderful adventure that it is.

We have so much to learn while we are here and we are stronger than we know, freedom comes from embracing how we really feel and what we think and welcoming a growth mindset. We will be free when we rise about our preferences and surrender to what is instead of what we want.  Stay connected to your inner voice and then cultivate it so it is strong and clear in a word needing compassionate togetherness and new solutions. Let's step into what is next with heads held high and hearts unnerved by what was or wasn't our preferences our small minds cling to like needy children. We are so much more than an idea. We bring so much more when we embrace reality with all its beauty and flaws, just like us. 
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Being busy is a great way to avoid things. 

One of my 52 Ways to Free my Mojo from my book is to "Stop Glorifying Busy-ness".   It may seem odd to realize that we often rush around because not only do we have too much to do, but we are also avoiding dealing with some inner clutter.  We don't really know when to say NO, because we are afraid we will miss something.  We don't always say YES to ourselves as a result. In cultures that reward "the hustle" we are really encouraged to achieve more than we are to be aware.  Our lives are full and there is a lot of noise.  Not just physical noise but also mental clutter and emotional debris.  By keeping busy we manage our emotions remotely.  We just dial in on things because we don't have time for real intimacy.  For most of us, it often works because the truth is that repeating tasks over and over with urgency is easier than rethinking our lives. 

I love water. I love lakes, rivers, oceans, seas, swimming pools and even baths.  There is something about it that is soothing to me. Even when the tides are rough and wild, I get an energy from water that I treasure.  Our energy is also bouncing off us and hitting other people. When we get busy and get anxious, the people around us feel it and respond.  None of us can help it as our neurology is programmed to mirror the behaviors of living beings around us.  It's probably a survival technique that goes back thousands of years so it's hard wired.   Predators have us all on our guard because that's how we survive. Years and years later, our primal drives are still activated all day long because fear is still a trigger to be on alert.

We are so complicated.  There is so much going on within us at all times.  As the ancient Poet Rumi once said "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop..."   We have our own tides ebbing and flowing.  We are a natural marvel whether we appreciate ourselves or not.  It is interesting that nature has shifts in energy, tides go in and out. The moon waxes and wanes.  But do we allow ourselves to have these energy shifts too?    Exquisite self care is the only way to be strong enough to do meaningful work in this world.  Exhausted is not an ongoing state to indulge without the onset of illness or accidents. We need to reflect more and do less. 

For many years I ran in fifth gear all the time. I pushed through in overdrive because of painful PTSD I felt I could overcome with achievement. I could not.  But I was too busy to know that at the time. I tried very hard to push it further and further from me. I engaged the external and used accomplishment to keep the wolf from the door only to find she had given birth to pups in my kitchen.  

Like the wolf, I could never be tamed but I denied my own natural needs and cycles to contribute in the world of man made victories.  I wanted to win.  I needed to feel like I was needed.  I kept  busy to try to be safe. 

In writing this I encourage you to look at the parts of your life you are rushing through. Look at the parts of you that you may ignore or push too far.  Look at your natural existence and fully embrace your own nature. 

What would that look like for you?  Who would you be if you were not so busy? 

​Changing Course or How to be the Most Inspiring Person You Know
 
 
Please indulge me for being a boring Ph. d for a few minutes who delights in finding gems in research and sharing them with other people.  A study I read recently shows that taking walks makes people more creative.  Once I read that fact I made a sworn commitment to show up for a daily walk. Wind or rain, cold or hot, I am strolling.  The gifts that this commitment give me are beyond my ability to express.  Now, I question why I didn’t do this always.
 
In contemplating the answer, I think the most uninspiring reason to take a walk is because you are afraid of being fat or worse yet, you think you already are fat.  I think the second most uninspiring reason is because you feel you can’t run or do anything more strenuous.  The third least inspiring reason is to think you already know what you will see.
 
I could do on with this list forever…
 
 
The funny part is that when I had a dog for so many years of my life, I believed it was important to walk her. Why didn’t I think it was important to walk me once she passed on?  Is that one of human’s little failings that we forget we too are animals?  We are creative, imaginative, brilliant beings who are still very much animals.
 
 
But, my point is that in order to really explore life and wander through your actual or metaphoric landscape of your life, you have to take some measures that can be applied to all areas of your life in need with some love.
 

1. You need to believe in the beauty of the idea.
2. You must invest in your own well being consistently to see benefits.
3. Whether you are introvert, extrovert or amnivert (combo) you need to fall in love with your own company.
4. See this endeavor as a way to explore yourself, your world and your possibilities.
5. Embrace the idea that all who wander are not lost.
6. There is beauty in “being” in your world not just being a passive digital observer of other people’s lives and fake lives.
7. You deserve to be interesting and can only do so by taking interest in your world and being present to yourself and then others in that order.

 
One of the principles in my book 52 Ways to Free my Mojo, is that we need to stop glorifying
Busy-ness.  We witness everyday ourselves or those around us being to busy to connect with themselves or with one another.  Changing course requires us to slow down and move at a different speed. Being a robot going through daily routines automatically may be contributing to the high rates of anxiety and depress we see burdening the world.
 
Something is off in our world and it looks like all attempts at waiting for a hero to solve them are futile.  We are the hero we are waiting for and have been all along.
 
In every mythical story telling structure in the world there is a hero who has to be at the center of the story. The hero has a quest and it looks quite likely that the hero will not accomplish this – but then through adventures and exploring options that do not work at all, the hero learns self mastery and miraculously conquers the quest.
 
What if you are that hero?
What if it’s your time to realize that all the efforts you made that disappointed you were merely lessons to get you stronger, wiser and fitter in overcoming obstacles, enemies and your own weaknesses?  What if you changed course and turned your face to the wind and walked with confidence and purpose directly into the unknown.
 
Being a parent of a child on the autism spectrum was probably a tragedy I hoped I would never face.  And then I did face it.  It took me years to grasp what any of that meant and how my life would continue.  The obvious was lost on me. My life as I knew it was over and I did have the right to mourn it, but what awaited me was a much bigger and more daring life. I was headed down a new course and I went towards it silently kicking and screaming, while outwardly stoic.
 
What if it’s time to embrace the journey. Today as I took my walk I saw an older woman ahead of me strolling to the left. I had never gone that way before. So I decided to change course. I walked along a windy country road.  At the end of the road there was a field and above the field the sun shone over the sea.  The golden glow of the sun reflected in the ocean right beyond the field. The green Irish field right before the ocean was one of the most unusual scenes I have ever stood before. The morning light was glorious and the field was still and emerald green.  I stood there and just felt as if I lived in a visual poem.
 
After making my obligatory post on social media, I turned and I walked back up the winding road excited about the climb and pull in my leg muscles.  It occurred to me then that over the years my life mission had really changed. I had been burdened by ambition and achievement for so many years.  Now, it occurred to me, my new goal was to help people overcome their resistance to living life full.  I want to be the most inspiring person I know.  Because let’s be honest, if you cannot inspire yourself maybe you are off course…  Perhaps it's now time for you to turn down all the noise in the digital world and listen to your inner hero. It's time to be your own guru. 
 
 
 
Please join me soon for new upcoming retreats, workshops and webinars if I can inspire you too.  If I can help you with private coaching or project consultation email me anytime at drnadram@gmail.com.

 ​All those who wander are not lost.

I heard the phrase many times that "you can never go home again" and there is a tendency amongst people that if you hear something often enough, you believe it must be true.  For many of us, life's journey involves much back and forth between tasks and obligations, but little exploration that gives us radical new insight into ourselves or our world.  We don’t always question the folk legends or collective beliefs such as you can’t go home.  So we stay.  Or worse yet, sometimes we get stuck.
 
After many years of living in the United States, recently I returned to live in my birthplace and previous homeland, Ireland.  That casual sentence makes all that sound very matter of fact when it was actually anything but that…
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When facing a major life decision that will involve uprooting those you love along with you, you don’t enter into it casually.  For decades I put off this decision in large part because I probably didn’t think the return was even possible. Obligations and habits kept me going to and fro like an ant on a trail carrying crumbs.  It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t like crumbs. 
 
“What do I really want?”  I started to ask myself this question.  I did not have an answer. 
 
If you pause and ask yourself that question now, what is your answer.
 
Is that really your answer?
 
Do you really truly know the answer?
 
This process of asking myself questions and then examining the answer was new.  But the startling part was that I was not clear or sure.  I didn’t have the confidence in the answer at all.  But, one day when I must have been feeling very brave on a hot Florida day, I whispered in a little voice “I want to go home…”   The vocalization of this desire was met with tears.  I would call it weeping but it was more like wailing in the spirit of the ancient banshees on the open moor.
 
The follow up questions followed. Yes. Yes. Yes. Answers came getting stronger each time.
 
Once the decision was made, the rest was easy.  No, that’s not true. It wasn’t easy.  That’s the problem with positive thinking, we have an illusion that what we want should come easily.  It was not hard to leave after being in America for decades, but it was possible. And more than that, it was worth it to not just me but my partner and child.
 
Our desires don’t just impact us but they impact all those we love.  Our actions are like stones thrown into the center of a pond and rippling out. They impact people in waves depending on their closeness to us.
 
What is important here to note is that not everyone will be happy for you when your desires don’t help them. When you decide to do something you deeply want that will not benefit them personally, some people will be unhappy with you.  The people who will positively benefit from your desire, will be pleased with you.  But, this is when you find out who really loves you, because those who love you will actively help you and support you in your courage.
 
Having a vision for what you want is just a longing unless you put an action plan together with it.  I can want something all day, but without action steps getting checked off my list, I will be no further along.
 
It’s important to know yourself and to have a deep awareness of who you are and what you want. Not just for you but for those closest to you.  It’s impossible to get what you really desire if you don’t even know what it is.
 
Everyday that passes either moves you closer to what you want or further from what you want. It’s really your call but we live in such a busy, noisy and demanding world, it is very hard to know that.  
 
The only way to be true to ourselves is to find ways to be quiet.  To strip away all the cultural clutter and chatter to see what is really true for us.  No one will give us this time so we have to create it.
 
There is no danger in living a life you don’t love except that one day there will be no more days. And we don’t know when that day will be.   It’s not meant to be morbid but it is a reminder about the fragility and preciously fleeting nature of life.
 
So, what do you really want?  Once you answer this and take action your life will come full circle.  And you will be home. Wherever that may be.
 
I shall see you there.  As one of my favorite quotes says “we are all just walking one another home.”

What is your focus: The new Millionaire mind.
 
I recently attended a conference for entrepreneurial women. One speaker asked if anyone in the audience had a million-dollar idea.    I immediately without thinking put up my hand…
If you have ever attended such an event making yourself the target of a presenter’s scrutiny is often a mistake.
Or was it?

Many of you following my story know that I recently gave up teaching college after 18 years and decided to use my Ph. D in communications, my creative and artistic skills to make the world a better place – not just for me but for a Million people.  Yep. You read that right. I want to have my films, speaking, writing and art work reach a million people.  This is a new definition of a millionaire.  My currency is not cash but creative energy.  I want to infuse imagination into an ordinary or sub-tolerable existence for anyone who needs it.  I want to liberate creative energy in individuals and organizations. 
 
I could have just said I want a million dollars…but that would be too easy.  People who use money as their master are already wreaking havoc in our world. Do we need more of that? I don’t.
 
Not that there is anything wrong with wanting cash. We need cold hard cash to keep the lights on and feed our loved ones and ourselves.  But there is a lot of very limiting and un-evolved ways to get it.  So I gave myself the unsolicited burden of being ethical, authentic and meaningful – oh, and original.  Sure. Why not?
 
I know you can get a million dollars in an insurance claim when a loved one dies…I didn’t want that.

I know I could sell millions of useless objects that would further flood our landfills…I didn’t want that.
 
I knew I could sell drugs or make porn movies that would push people further into pain…I didn’t want that.
 
I knew I could get a really awful job and go to work and step over people and claw my way to the top…I didn’t want that either.
 
So here is the million-dollar question, not knowing what I don't want makes for great “contrast” but what DO  I want?  Is there a price to not knowing?

One of the phrases I like the least is the world is that of  "the starving artist."  Why should creatives be valued less in our world?
 
Napoleon Hill in 1937 wrote a world changing book called “Think and Grow Rich.”  Now he was a fascinating man and among his ideas were the value of imagination in creating abundance.  He tells the famous story of a famous young minister Dr. Frank Gunsaulus who gave a sermon called  “what I would do with a million dollars”  which got him an actual Million dollars.  Phillip Armour heard his sermon and wrote him a check.  The Armour Institute of Technology was born as a result.
 
Hill points out rather obviously that prosperity does not come from hard work alone but only by an appeal to “THE IMAGINATION”.
 
Einstein also said that “imagination is more important than knowledge”.
 
If we look at prosperous companies in our world and billionaires we see that they share a visionary trait.  Apple, Virgin, Disney… I could go on all day.
 
Hill adds “The creator of ideas makes his own price, and if he smart, gets it.”
 
What price have you put on your ideas? On your time? Your life? Your energy?
 
It sounds so simple but it is not. It is mind bending.
 
The big question really is: Do we know our worth?

There is no way that genius can be delivered transactionally. We aren't human vending machines.
There is no way that conformity, settling and struggling with make you prosperous.  You can never have an abundant life with just CASH. It’s not it. If you make your money from anyone being harmed or hurt, it will not last. You will never be RICH. 
 
Here is what I want.
 
I want to create original work and ideas to share freely with the world so the imagination can be free to attract its infinite wealth.  I want people to stop struggling and suffering needlessly.
 
I want you to free your MOJO.  I want you to be so happy that you are generous, healthy, happy and kind. I want you to love your life so much you would never ever hurt another living soul. I want you to wake up every morning with an overwhelming joyful love for your life. I want you to love life like a wild and crazy soul unwilling to harm another living being.
 
My million-dollar idea is to make life better for a million people through my books, art, films, writing and speaking.
 
WHAT IS YOURS?
 
You need to write it down and ask the universe.  Just like Dr. Gunsalus did in the 1930s. Let your imagination run wild and then speak it into existence.  The Universe will hear you.  She’s waiting to write you your check.
 
Let me know what you’re courageous ask is and I will support you. 
You deserve the very best. Ask with intention, deliver with purpose. Don’t worry about the details. Repeat after me: “I deserve the very best."   

Know your worth and don't put yourself on clearance ever again. 
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There have been GOALS I wanted in my life:  To get a Ph. D, to compete in Triathlons, to direct films and be in Film Festivals and to write a book.  I have a silent roaring ambition. I select a goal and then I go for it and I keep moving until I get it or I decide, I do not really want this goal.
 
As I typed this bold title I thought “Hmm, that’s pretty audacious to claim that people can meet their goals every time – and you know the secret.  And then a little small voice inside me said “But, I do know…”
So do you want to know too so you can get what you most desire and be happy.
It’s taken me a lifetime to crack this code but I am willing to share it with you …are you ready to hear it?

​ 
I was going to call this “The Problem with Goal setting” and I thought that was too negative for me – and for you.  And let’s be honest, we already know the problem with goal setting.  The problems are obvious:

1. We don’t have time or energy to set goals
2. We set goals but we haven’t attained them yet
3. The goals seem too hard, challenging, expensive, demanding or far off
4. We set them – but we just don’t want them anymore
5. We keep procrastinating…over and over
6. No one believes in our goal so why should we?
7. Wait, we are supposed to have goals?

 
Many of us know exactly the problem with goals so I think we have that covered. But, how do we overcome all or any of those “factors” and attain our goals?
 
The secret as I promised you is very simple but it is multi-faceted.  Goals are sneaky. They seem straight forward and positive, and sometimes they truly are quick to attain. But the big goals, the life changing and life affirming goals seem to take a little longer, even a life time.
 
The big issue with goals too of course is that we really don’t know how long we have. I was listening to Tom Petty this morning, and it felt strange as he passed away unexpectedly recently.  I realized what a huge body of work the man created in his 66 years of life.  We didn’t know he would be gone so soon, but now that he is I am grateful that during his life he churned out so much incredible music.   He partnered with many other incredible musicians and singers and made memorable music for decades.
 
My point here is that if you have a song in you, or a book, or a business or a relationship…you better get on it. We don’t know how much time we have to do it.
 
I am not being fatalistic but a goal also has a life span. If we don’t act on the goal, then often, it leaves us. Or we leave it.
 
So here is the secret.   Goals are not “things” but they living, breathing entities.  If we do not tend to them, like all living things they will leave us or die.  
We think of goals of something abstract when in fact they are very real. We treat goals as if they are optional and they will be. 
 
If we really have an aim, a desire, a goal then we have to create definable tasks and objectives to move us towards our goal.
 
Let’s play a game.  Think of a goal you have and you are clear that you want it. Now, go through this list and identify what resources you have committed to getting this goal?
 

• TIME
• MONEY
• SUPPLIES/TOOLS?
• SKILL
• FOCUS  (MULTITASKING IS LIKE DRUNK DRIVING – so stop)
• STAGES OF CONCEPTION, DESIGN, FAILURE, ADAPTION, MANIFESTATION
• CONSISTENT ATTENTION OVER TIME
• A SPACE FOR THIS GOAL TO LIVE

 
If you haven’t identified your goal or aim of your ambition or desires, then you probably are not focused in going towards this. 

Imagine we are going on a trip and I say “Oh, great. Where are we going? I will pack!”  (I would say something very like that.  And you say “I don’t know, but we will go West…”  I am going to really struggle to pack, to plan to even go with you and to commit to your trip.
 
Your goal is the same way.  It’s not going anywhere until you appear to know where you are going and when.
 
It may sound dull but the details are the key.  The specifics will set you free.
 
What are you willing to do to get your goal? And when are you willing to do it? And where?
 
If you really WANT something, you should have it. You deserve the very best so give yourself the best possible resources to succeed. And you will.
 
That is the secret. 
 
Let me know how you are doing with your goals! 
 
Love to you on your journey,
 
Nadia